How to Ask Out a Girl Again

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Afterward breaking upwardly with your girlfriend, you may detect that y'all still have feelings for her. Perhaps you lot experience that ending the relationship was a mistake. Maybe circumstances in your lives have changed, and yous want to requite things some other shot. Whether your break upward was one-sided or mutual, it'southward possible to win her back with patience, kindness and honesty.

1. one

   Do not look that she nevertheless likes you. While it is painful to have, your girlfriend may have moved on since your interruption-up. Before approaching her again, keep in mind that she may non desire to get dorsum together with you. If she rejects you lot, don't accept it personally.^[1] Perhaps in that location was a reason why you bankrupt upwardly in the first place.^[two]

2. 2

   Send her a text. Calling her might feel likewise forward, so ease in with a text. Let her know you are thinking about her. Perhaps yous heard a vocal that reminds yous of her? Or, you re-watched flick that you lot two had seen together. Keep it light and friendly, and ask her how she'south doing.^[3] Yous might say something similar, "Hey! I was walking in the mall and I heard our favorite song... it made me think of you. How are things?"

   • If she doesn't text back right abroad, don't despair. She might just be thinking of the right affair to say.
   • If you tin can, try to regularly keep in touch with her.^[four]

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3. three

   Inquire her to spend time together as friends. If she responds positively, consider request her out to a social upshot as friends. You could invite her to a school basketball game, or to swallow dejeuner together in the deli. Run across her in a public setting with other friends and then she feels more comfortable.^[5]

4. 4

   Bear witness her that y'all care about her. Brand a list of your girlfriend's favorite things and activities. Does she accept a favorite musician that is playing an upcoming concert? You could find tickets and surprise her with them. Or, if she just got her driver's license, y'all could find a absurd fundamental chain that is relevant to ane of her hobbies (like a tennis ball primal chain if she plays tennis).^[6] However, you don't have to spend money to show that you care. If she told you she has a test coming upwards, telephone call or text her afterward and ask how it went. Offer back up if she'due south feeling anxious. But existence thoughtful and listening will show that you want to be involved in her life.

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1. 1

   Plan what you want to say in advance. Call back nearly the circumstances that concluded your relationship.^[7] Did y'all have a fight? Did one of you crook? Why do you want to requite things a second chance? Knowing exactly may help convince her to get out with you lot again. ^[8] Writing downwards your thoughts may assist you make up one's mind what, exactly, you want to say.

2. 2

   Ask to run into her alone. Don't endeavour to have this kind of conversation over text or the telephone, even if you've become close friends again. Invite her to dinner or for a walk in the park. Find a place that's quiet so you can exist alone together.^[9]

3. 3

   Explain that yous still have feelings for her. Mention specific activities you enjoyed doing together, and tell her y'all miss doing those things together. Be honest about your feelings and the qualities nearly her that y'all like and respect about her.^{[10] [11]} You could say something like, "I actually miss studying together -- you're so smart and always have interesting opinions about the material we're learning."

   • You could endeavour reminding her of all the good times you had in your relationship.^[12]

4. iv

   Tell her why this fourth dimension will be different. If she was upset about your break-up, she may ask, "Why should we get back together? How will this time exist different?" Betoken out things about yourself that accept inverse -- perhaps yous experience more mature and ready for a relationship? Peradventure you lot bankrupt up because you were stressed with last papers and exams.^[13]

   • For example, you might say something similar "I was really overwhelmed past terminal exams and needed to exist alone, merely our fourth dimension apart made me realize how much I miss having you in my life."

5. 5

   Let her talk. Give her the adventure at present to say how she feels. If she was upset about your break-up, she may need more time to feel ready to trust you lot again. It'southward possible she no longer has feelings for yous, or she wants to stay friends. She might also have a new crush, or a new swain. Respect what she says. Endeavor to stay calm if you don't get the answer yous want.^[14]

6. vi

   Accept her answer. If she wants to become back together, corking! Think of this as a fresh showtime to your relationship. That way, you'll avert making the same mistakes you lot did the outset fourth dimension you dated.^[fifteen] If she says no or isn't sure, give her time. She withal might change her mind, only needs time to process her feelings. It'due south okay to feel sad during this time. Facing rejection is non easy.

   • Take things slow. You've likely both inverse since yous were together. Take the time to get to know each other once again.^[16]

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Conversation Help

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• Question

  Should I try to win my ex back?

  

  Michele Fields is a Matchmaker, Dating Omnibus, and the Possessor of Bon Jour Matchmaking based in Denver, Colorado. With over thirty years of experience, she specializes in helping others see people and navigate dating and relationships. Michele has created over 300 marriages and has been featured on Denver ABC News, The Rocky Mountain News, Colorado 2 News, Denver Westworld, and The Denver Post.

  

  Matchmaker & Dating Charabanc

  Expert Respond

  That depends a lot on WHY the relationship concluded. If no one cheated and there was no corruption but you grew apart, you should try to know how she feels virtually the relationship catastrophe and how the new i is going. Movement slowly.

• Question

  What should I exercise to get over my ex?

  

  Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York Urban center. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers University, and pursued specialized preparation at Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Institute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Middle. Dr. Yacoob is a fellow member of the American Psychological Association, Women'southward Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Clan for Cerebral and Behavioral Therapies.

  

  Clinical Psychologist

  Expert Respond

  Try to take ownership of how yous might take contributed to the break-up. Call back about it and maybe work on it. Try to see the other person with compassion every bit they too are dealing with a suspension-up even though they might take been the one to prompt it.

• Question

  Is it a sign of weakness to acknowledge mistakes?

  

  Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York Metropolis. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers Academy, and pursued specialized grooming at Weill Cornell Medical Higher, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Constitute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Center. Dr. Yacoob is a member of the American Psychological Clan, Women's Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Clan for Cerebral and Behavioral Therapies.

  

  Clinical Psychologist

  Expert Answer

  Acknowledging mistakes exhibits real strength and is a real sign of character. It paves the style to connect with people through honesty. Information technology gives you a hazard to make amends.

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Article Summary Ten

It can be difficult to become a girl to go dorsum out with yous later yous intermission upward, but if yous're honest nigh your feelings, and y'all approach her the right mode, yous might be able to convince her. Try easing into a chat with her past sending her a text. Proceed the text light and friendly, but permit her know that you lot're thinking near her. Something like, "Hey! I saw there'south a new Star Wars film coming out, made me think of you. How's everything with yous?" If she responds positively, attempt asking her to spend time together every bit friends. Perhaps invite her to a casual event like a school football game or ask if you tin can eat tiffin with her. Once you've broken the ice, tell her how you feel. Explain that you lot all the same take feelings for her and you lot'd like to give your human relationship another chance. If she feels the same mode, she just might say yes. For tips almost how to plan what you desire to say in advance, go along reading!

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